From the Contributor
Recording of a practice with remarkably good sound quality yet typically bad performance
Cousin It - Murphy's, Thursday Night. Having never seen Cousin It before, I had no idea what to expect. What I left with that night leaves me wanting never to hear rock music again. I knew the audience and I were in for a long night when the lead singer staggered onto the stage with a 44 ounce cup and a tamborine. The cup was obviously laced with something; he grimaced with each giant gulp. Both of the guitarists glanced at each other and shrugged. This was apparently a pattern. The show started off inconspicuously enough, with the band busting into one of their originals. The bass player hung stood within inches of his speaker cabinet. The guitarists banged into one another; Murphy's stage is miniscule. The drummer beat the crap out of his drums, to the point of drowning out the rest of the band. I quickly heard the sound technicians adjust for the volume of the drums.Then it happened. The lead singer collapsed onto his back, and began, in the middle of the song, mind you, cursing at some woman named Skinny. The band kept playing and shortly thereafter, the singer returned to the song. He then decided (still laying on his back) that he would create as much feedback as he could with his microphone and the monitor. It was at this point that the guitarists stopped playing and began drinking their own beverages. The bass player and drummer continued for a few more seconds before the song disintegrated. One guitarist broke out the Jack Daniels, and he and the other one began drinking from the bottle. The singer began bantering on about how much he wanted to stand up; he would attempt and immediately fall again. Then the guitarists took turns landing pile-drivers on him during the next couple of cover tunes. It wasn't until the fourth song that he actually vomited, a feat he repeated at song 9 and the finale. The final song was a tune called constipatience, where, using the lyrics of Guns and Roses' Patience, the band sings about the pain of being constipated. The amazing thing was the fact that the crowd stayed until the unholy, bitter end, too drunk to realize that they were being bludgeoned by the worst show in the history of rock music.
-Randy Dornier, BR Scene Magazine